Moving on after a breakup is hard. You can feel like you’ve wasted your time or failed in some way. Whatever happens, it’s important to think back on what happened. If you are still processing a breakup and need help making sense of the situation, try these approaches. They’ll help you grow in terms of both self-awareness and interpersonal abilities.

BE DONE WITH IT | If your partner doesn’t desire the relationship, END IT. Analyze your relationship persona. Did you always want what your partner wanted? Did you both equally give? Have your anxieties of being alone outweighed your concerns? It’s possible that you struggled with the connection and lost yourself in it.

DON’T DEFINE YOURSELF | Don’t define yourself by the breakup. It doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It’s not a reflection of you. Maybe it just wasn’t a good match. Dating is a discovery between two people learning about each other. it is not a measure of your worth as a person.

TAKE TIME | Don’t rush back into finding new love. Let your wounds heal and your heart reset. Heading immediately into another relationship may mean heading toward a repeat, with little growth. Allowing yourself to think and grow is a form of self-love and is necessary for future relationships.